Don't make out with my wife yet
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Can you bring me the toilet please
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize