I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
