Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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