i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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