hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
