Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
