she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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