He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
