wat bout pragnant strippers??
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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