he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
