So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
