It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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