OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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