I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
