i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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