I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My dick has a subreddit
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize