woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
PANTIES FOUND
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