I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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