Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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