I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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