Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
