Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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