Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
