Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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