I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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