My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
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PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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