So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
