He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You are a genius and a whore.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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