this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just high enough for therapy.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
