How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
