whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
