I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
