Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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