Taylor Swift is so right about you.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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