i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
