Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You ruined the universe
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
