Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He shit in the fireplace
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
