my mouth tastes like poor choices
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
