I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
