I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
