Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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