Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Actions speak louder than pants.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
