**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's blow job season.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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