I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
