I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
