i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
don't judge my taste in strippers
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize