a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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