Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
