My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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