I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.