Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
