he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize