dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.