Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
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I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
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When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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