The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
