Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
