i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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