Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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