My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
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it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
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Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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