One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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