im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
This show inspires me to have sex in space
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
