I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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