i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
