I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
