Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
