did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
